The Preschool Years--when summer days are not lazy

If I'm being completely honest, this has been a really long summer. I see facebook posts & pics of other moms livin' it  up with their toddlers....jaunting off to amusement parks or the lake; making sand castles at the beach; or simply sitting in the backyard while their kids splash around in the baby pool and lick popsicles. The smiles abound & you can almost hear the giggles through the computer screen.

Yeah, not so much for this mama.

I've tried the baby pool, but the mosquito's at our house are no match to even the highest percent of deet.  There are never enough red popsicles so someone usually ends up crying or in time out if we attempt them. We joined a pool and have gone more than I thought we would, but truthfully its more stress than fun when I have all 4 kids alone. Maggie, our neighbor, has been a lifesaver and kept the twins A LOT so I could take the "older" kids. My mom friends are awesome in helping out, and I'm super grateful for them, but I still worry about someone drowning. And watching two 18-month olds toddle two different ways puts me over the edge.

Allison has loved swim lessons, VBS, dance camp and Safety Town. I just hope she only remembers the fun parts of being there, and not all the yelling and crying that ensues trying to get there on time. Signing up for these events always seems like such a great idea....while the actual logistics makes me wonder why I can't remember why its so difficult with so many little bodies and no one quite old enough to help out yet (my oldest child is only 5)!

We took a 2 week vacation to Tucker Pond (I hope to do a post on this soon), but I came back 10X more tired because the twins didn't sleep and were fussy most of the time. I am praying the kids simply forget their mom was there this year. It was rough.

I always hesitate to do these kinds of posts, but its my daily reality right now. I think people are scared to say: THIS IS REALLY HARD. People are very quick to point out that "the days are long and the years are short." Someone even told me, "enjoy getting up with your babies at night. Just soak in the moments rocking them." Really?! Are you going to come over the next day and help me out? Make dinner? Clean? Do laundry? That would be great if you could come so I can take a nap, since I'm so busy enjoying not sleeping at night. And I know, I know I'm supposed to leave my house an entire mess and play dress up and eat ice cream cones, so I can enjoy these short, fleeting days of bliss.

I had a mini-breakdown about all of this recently. So I turned up the A/C, turned on the sound machine as loud as it would go & laid on my bed in tears. I cried out to God to help me. I knew my circumstances wouldn't change. The diapers, tantrums and night wakings would continue; but I could not continue how I was responding to the circumstances. I was done. So done. So I asked Him to take over--change my summertime attitude and transform me. I couldn't do it, but I knew He could. I emailed a friend who was also struggling with the daily grind and she prayed for me [and she happens to have a special gift in the prayer area]!

God is so cool. He listens and He does help us. He gifted me with several good nights of sleep, several cooler days outside, and a few available friends who laughed with me and helped me with the girls. And the end of summer is going better than the beginning. I'm back to praying daily--putting my days in His hands. It's amazing how things change when Mom changes! I don't know exactly when I'll be able to read a magazine at the pool, or pass out popsicles without tears, but for now, God is helping me live today for today and rely on Him to get me through.

And I simply cannot wait for school to start :-)


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